Self Trust through growth
A common theme over the last few months, paralleling both my personal and professional life is self trust.
I have made some big decisions, made big moves and taken some big risks. This is a common occurrence for me, always seeking to push the boundaries, working towards consistently becoming the best version of myself possible and sharing my essence with the world. My choices don’t often make sense to those around me at the time, but I always follow my instincts and inevitably it leads me to where I need to be. That however, doesn’t mean that it won’t come without anxieties. I too get worried about the potential fallout of my decisions, such as choosing the right person to spend my time with or choosing the right person for a role within the business. Self-reflection and doubt are something that shadow me constantly.
When this doubt occurs, it usually means I am seeking more control and consistency in my life for what is within my reach. My friends, family and staff members have now come to realise this doubt so well, that they are able to check in with me and help alleviate any concerns. When this self-doubt creeps in, I have to consciously do three following things;
Release control:
Stop trying to control everything and just let it be. For someone who prides herself on making fast thought out decisions, if I don’t know the outcome straight away I become a little anxious and tend to overthink. This is the time where I actively try to take some time out to breathe, relax, be patient and let the outcome unfold.
Gain perspective:
Remove the weight from my decisions and know what will be will be. Due to some unexpected events over the last few months, I have had no choice but to take a step back in many areas of my life, including business. It has given me the time and space to observe, perspective take and look at things from an outsiders perspective. This brings me back to what’s most important and sheds light on things that are of greater importance elsewhere.
Learn from my past:
My lack of self-trust and contemplation of judgement comes from not always making the best decisions in my younger years of life, which has resulted in myself having to rebuild or work through them again later. This does however build me up to be a stronger and more resilient human, allowing me to understand my true essence and being able to express it. It does mean that I have to become comfortable with learning the same lessons a few times over. Each time I learn something new though and it allows to make better judgement calls as I get older.
In this moment of my life, I have been at many cross roads, where I have made many decisions having an unknown outcome. Never have I had to envelop self-trust more.
I have to trust what I know, what I feel and know that whatever the outcome is I will be ok.
As I have worked through some of my anxieties around making decisions, the only thing that truly relieves my worries is time. At times the anxieties are justified. Sometimes my personal and professional decisions have resulted in negative consequences. But it’s all about what you take from it and then learning to reframe it in a positive light. Without mistakes we will make the same decisions over and over again, one’s that may not serve us in the long run.
‘The difference between a good person and a bad person? A good person owns up to a mistake, and then learns from it - in order to move forward’.
I choose to actively be that person. To trust myself. To trust that whatever the outcome, i am making the best decision that I can at the time.
So I choose to trust myself.
With past mistakes, I have become aware of exactly what I am looking for in order to help share my vision and passions with the world, support and lift my wonderful professional team around me in order to achieve it. None of this could be have achieved unless I truly learnt to trust myself no matter the outcome.
Nobody is perfect. We can’t get everything right the first go. Growth never comes without some growing pains.
Look at those three points that I mentioned prior about managing self-doubt and learn to trust yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Try and release your control and understand that what will be, will be. Learn to enjoy the ride. If plans change, move with them and move on to the next decision.
